Monday, 10 September 2012

Dear LIB Readers: I need your advice

From a male LIB reader
Hi Linda, I need advice from your blog readers. And no, my story is not made up. It’s for real, actually very real. I am a top executive of a very successful conglomerate my father founded. I resumed the job early this year when I returned from the U.K after completing my MBA.
As a result of my job, I usually find myself frequenting places I ordinarily wouldn’t want to- Ikoyi club, society weddings, conferences, etc. I’m a geek for the most part, and something of a recluse. I’d rather stay in my house at the end of day and watch series of ‘Family Guy’ or ‘Spartacus’, ‘House’ or any of my other favorite series. When I became Deputy CEO of the company, I realized that I had to start hanging out at these places to build a social circle, mostly for business reasons. I am not a very sociable person, but with the help of my more outgoing cousins, I’ve been able to build a pretty decent network of Lagos ‘big boys’ between January when I returned and now.

During a conference in Lagos this year, I was approached by a young lady banker. She was working in the Marketing department at one of these newly-renamed banks- one of the banks that AMCON acquired and recapitalized. She’s pretty young- about 7 years my junior. I’m 28; this lady is about 21. You know how young these graduates are these days.

Anyway, she walked up to me and started persuading me to consider opening up a bank account with her bank and told me all the benefits of the account, etc. She looked so innocent and desperate, and practically begged me for an opportunity to see me again so that she could convince me. I ended up giving her my complimentary card. I usually don’t just give out my card like that, but I did.

Three days later, when I was hanging out with my new-found friends and my cousins at a bar at one of the Hotels on the Island during the early evening, this girl called me and reminded me who she was. She said she really needed me to open an account, and that she was eager to convince me on why I needed to open an account. My friends noticed I was talking to a girl on the phone. You know how guys are; they teased me and asked me to just play around with her and invite her for drinks.
I asked her to come over to the Hotel, and surprisingly, she said she would be there in 20 minutes. The branch she worked in is on the Island, so she apparently took a Bike and came to meet us. This was about 6pm. The girl came, and my friends all saw her. They smiled and talked among themselves in hush tones, and I talked briefly with her for like 5 minutes and told her I would make a decision on banking with her or not. She was desperate from what I could see, and she was eager to get my account.

When she left, my friends all laughed mischievously and told me in plain terms that I had to fuck the girl. They went on talking about how all these bank marketers all get fucked by different men before getting deposits, and insisted that I must not be any different. Now, I’m not a virgin; I’ve had my own fair share of sex in the past, but I’ve never been one to take advantage of a girl. I knew she was desperate as she had a target to meet up to, or something of the sort. But when you’re a guy hanging out with guys, it’s pretty difficult to be the odd one out. All my friends made me promise that I’d sleep with the girl. I promised; I didn’t want to look like some geek. And I’m really trying to feel among these guys.

To cut a long story short, two days later, when I was in my office, this girl called me and tried persuading me to bank with her. As she was talking to me on phone, I asked her jokingly: “What are you willing to do in order for me to open an account with you?”

She hesitated and then she told me: “Anything you want sir.”

Gbam! That was my cue. I asked her to meet me at one hotel for drinks later that evening. I asked my PA to book a room for me at the Hotel. She came to meet me. We had drinks, we chatted. She told me that her bosses had ordered her to deliver N10million to the bank that month, and that so far, she hadn’t gotten anything. Her job was on the line, and she had only just started working there 3 weeks before. I asked her to follow me to the room. She did. I slept with her.

Surprisingly, it turns out she was doing it for the first time. She was actually a Virgin. The bed sheet was stained with her blood and all that stuff, and I was just amazed. I thought being a marketer and all, that she would have been sampled many times. But no, she was a virgin. When we finished, she was shy of looking at me in the eye. We didn’t talk much. I gave her money for a Taxi, and gave her the name of the Finance director of the subsidiary I am in charge of. I asked her to meet him the following day to open up a corporate account. I instructed the guy to open up an account worth a few hundreds of millions- probably enough to meet her target for the next 2 years if there if such a thing in commercial banking circles. I don’t know how these banks work.

Anyway, she called me and thanked me profusely for saving her job. My friends now know I have slept with her, and I have solidified my place among them as a ‘bad’ guy.

The issue is this: I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. It’s been like six weeks now. I haven’t called her since then, even though she keeps sending me text messages asking after my wellbeing and thanking me for banking with her. She deals directly with my Finance guy so we don’t talk money ever. But I think about her every day. I think I actually have feelings for her, and the idea that I was her first makes me feel like she should belong to me. I’ve never been a Lady’s first. I’m actually going crazy with thoughts about this girl.

Am I crazy? Should I call her up and ask her out? How would that feel? How would she react? Also, considering that my friends all see her as the bank ‘whore’ would it be a good idea to still ask her out? It could kill me rep among them. I’m not looking for sex from her; I’m looking for something real, something intimate. I want something that’d last- probably forever.

I’ve never felt this way about any other lady in a really really long time. What should I do?

Please advise.


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