Sunday, 9 September 2012

Dear LIB Readers: Maximus needs your advice

 
If you read comments on LIB, then you should know the name Maximus. She's been MIA on the blog for a bit because she just had a baby. Now she needs advise from you all on a pressing issue. See her mail below...
Dear LIB readers, I am MAXIMUS ™   I am of mixed parentage (German Nigerian). My husband is mixed as well (Russian Nigerian). My hubby HATES being Nigerian! When people ask him where his ‘Black’ is from, he denies being Nigerian; He claims being African American or West Indies.
When we had our first baby, she was white as hell! She had no single trace of black in her. I was very unhappy while my husband on the other hand, seemed quite happy that God was gradually wiping away all the Naija from his blood line. He kept talking about how his kids will never marry Nigerians ‘cos we have a very bad reputation world over especially in America where we live.
I kept my fingers crossed hoping our second child will have some visible black traits. My hope got dashed few weeks ago when my son was born. My new born, my son, looks nothing like a mixed race kid. I've been so depressed because of this issue. I don't know if it’s the post-natal depression new mum’s suffer or the fact that my husband wants to turn all of us against the other half of our heritage. What scares me most is that my husband isn’t just trying to get rid of the Nigerian blood in his kids, I seriously fear he’s trying to wipe out the BLACK in his blood line – as in he wants his offspring to all be ‘whitey’!!!

Worse off, he doesn't even allow me go to Nigeria anymore. He has forbidden me taking his kids to Nigeria. For me to even venture flying to naija, I have to tell one big fat gigantic lie! That's why I'm always on Nigerian blogs, ‘cos that’s the only way I can enjoy what I'm missing back home.

My father is Nigerian and my mum is German. They've tried to wade into the matter but my husband isn't budging. My older brothers have also tried to dissuade him from this demented mentality, but nothing seems to be working. My family has asked me to give him some time; he’ll eventually grow out of it because he may still be feeling the sting from his Father’s death.

His father passed away 5 years ago and he still feels bruised from this incident because there where strong rumors that his father died from diabolical blah blah blah ‘juju’ sent from his extended family. Although his parents had always lived in the US, it was during one of their trips to naija for Christmas that his popsi fell ill with very strange symptoms, and died few weeks after they returned to the US. Following his father’s death, his father’s family focused less on the death and more on how to cunningly corner some of the man’s assets because his father was very wealthy. This made my husband hate his extended family and hate Nigeria even more!

His mum, who obviously isn't Nigerian, doesn't see any big deal with her son's decisions.

My family’s telling me I should take it easy because we are still quite young. My husband is 30 while I'm still in my 20's. So yes, we are still very young. But I have every reason to start now to worry, right? I love my husband. But I also want my kids to know about their Nigerian culture.

The reason why I decided to ask reader’s for help is because, my situation is a very peculiar one; I don’t know anyone who has had a similar experience within my family and network of friends. That is why I decided to send it in on this blog and see if anyone’s dealt with an issue like this in their family

Pls LIB readers help me because I am seriously going crazy! December is around the corner and me I’ve finished planning in my head how I’ll rock Lagos & PH this Christmas. Lol.

What do I do? How do I handle this?

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